Today I walked over to my next door neighbor's house and gave them a bag of lemons that I purchased at Costco. I wasn't going to use them all so why not share I thought. They are so pricey at the supermarket. Two lemons can cost you an arm and a leg. When I was at Costco on Wednesday the idea of sharing the lemons just popped into my mind, because that's the kind of person I am. Considerate, generous, compassionate and thoughtful... And thoughtful is a fitting adjective to describe me because I think a lot. I think so much that I get anxiety at night because I can't fall asleep. For a week I was thinking about bringing the lemons over but I never got around to it. Today is different. I will stop thinking and I will just do it! What is the point of nice thoughts if you don't act on them?

I impulsively put on my shoes and grabbed a couple of lemons and placed them in a plastic bag and walked over to my neighbor's house and rang the doorbell.  A tall pretty teenage girl opened the door. I said hi I'm your next door neighbor and I had bought a bag of lemons at Costco so I thought you might like some. I have way too much I said. To be honest I felt awkward standing there with my bag of lemons so I fumbled over my words but she understood me. She happily said thank you to me a couple of times. I found out that her name was Catherine with a C. Then I just quickly walked back to my house after I said thank you. I meant to say, "You are quite welcome!" But the words "Thank you!" came out of my mouth. I could have stood there and chatted but I didn't know what else to say. It was a little awkward and completely out of my comfort zone because I am an introvert. At least that's what I was told. I think I'm going to change the label to extrovert and maybe next time I won't feel so shy and embarrassed talking to people I don't know. It's all about the labels we put on ourselves. If I keep telling myself I am an extrovert then I will become one, right?

I was ecstatic when I came home because I had acted on what I was thinking instead of just thinking about it! It is extremely tiresome and draining to have thoughts and good intentions that are never followed through. Eventually you start to label yourself as a procrastinator, a looser, a day dreamer, a thinker and not a doer. The worst part is you can't rely on yourself anymore to do what needs to get done. I was being spontaneous and impulsive and it felt sooooo good. My hair looked like I just rolled out of bed. For me to make myself look presentable would require another hour of prepping in front of the mirror. For someone who thinks a lot of negative thoughts it's not a smart idea to start looking in the mirror. In a span of 5 seconds I can easily talk myself out of doing what needs to get done. The excuses would start flowing like a waterfall. In fact they had already started creeping into my brain. "I'm sure they have lemons at home why would they want any of mine? What if they own a lemon tree in their backyard? What if they already have a bag of lemons in their fridge? Why was I being so stinchy and giving them only three lemons instead of six? So you can see my dilemma. I needed to act now and fuck trying to look presentable and decent. And no I did not bother to look in the mirror because then I would not leave the house.

A lot of opportunities in my life have passed me by because I was too afraid to act. My resume isn't ready or it's not perfect enough to send out, so I don't send it. Then I look at the job I wanted to apply for and the position is gone. I still regret not visiting this one professor when I received an invitation to meet him. I was in art school at the time and I had written a thank you letter to him with a sketch and he sent me a handmade card back and invited me to come see him. I never took him up on his offer. Although I was so honored to receive the invitation I was paralyzed with fear. Eventually I waited too long and the moment passed me by. Perhaps I felt ill prepared and didn't know what to say or how to act around him. I was this shy, little girl with extremely low self esteem who lived in fear of not being good enough. I didn't have the confidence to reach out and say, "Yes, I will meet you wherever you want me to go. I will be there and I will show you my art work and ask you what you think."

His name was Wolfgang Lederer. He was a famous retired designer who was generous and wealthy enough to create grants under his name for students like myself. I happened to be one of the lucky recipients of his generosity. Unfortunately, I was too young and naive to know that the invitation to see him was a chance of a life time, worth more than the scholarship I received under his name. It was amazing that he was still alive and actually made me a personal card with my name on it. I wonder if it's worth anything. LOL. A couple of years later he passed away. I read about it in a magazine. I missed out on an unbelievable opportunity to meet one of the greatest minds in design. What precious words of wisdom could he have instilled in my young impressionable mind? There are so many opportunities lost due to inaction. So be a doer not a thinker. Remember that an object in motion stays in motion. An object at rest stays at rest. Let us be fearless, and move forward to embrace the uncertainty before us.